So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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