idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
