And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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