Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
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