bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
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good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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