i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
