drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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