Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
