Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I wear drunk well.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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