We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
