Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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