okay pat passed out under dana's car
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
