Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
