I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
two words...techno handjob
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
