SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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