You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
