we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
