He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
