Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
