I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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