Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
zippers are such a cool invention
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
