and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
