I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
