I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
