You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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