i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize