don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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