Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
