Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
