I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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