Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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