laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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