One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
