Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
