I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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