and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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