You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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