omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
