Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
