Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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