I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
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He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
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I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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