so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
