were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
