i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
