If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
