Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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