You're my little dorito
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize