Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
