Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
