sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
