Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
