Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
