Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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