Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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