..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
