# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if only i could text you this smell
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
