are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize